Auf dem Zaun

So, congratulations. :)
I rather like the speech.
Wish I could believe as deeply as so many of you do.
Good luck!

It is quite strange that when I'm as busy as I currently am (and it feels like a lot is happening), I have no idea what to post about.
Despite the discussions I had today - but then they were about super-relevant social issues which I am not going to try and talk about until I have thought about them even more than I already have.
Blah?
I have forgotten everything else I've been wanting to say. (Anyway, do people who post blah on their journal look like they have nothing to do? I almost didn't dare to post because I didn't want to give off the impression that I wouldn't stick to my obligations but still be writing blah.)

( I'm putting the Dragon Talk behind a cut. There is actual talk, not only eggs. )

PS: Oh, look at her - Sarah Jane, in my icon. I am madly and deeply in love.

I'm sick. It's my once-a-year-cold. *sigh* And I missed Iaido training because of it. :(
Which means I have every right to do stupid things without having to deliver explanations for them. Because my head feels foggy and swollen, and I'm unable to do intelligent things (like reading texts for my linguistic course which I need for my final exams. These texts are evil. I can't understand them even if I feel healthy and motivated). Anyway, about the stupid things:



If you are very annoyed by the flood of dragons on your flist, please say so - we can always found an inner circle of dragon lovers and filter you out. *g* Uhm, no... I'm planning to post them to some comm soon, after they've accepted me.

The white and the green egg are Sajasi and Chaestyrnje's kids. (look here) I would give one of them away to someone I know, so if you're looking for an egg to adopt...
(Yes, I'm so deep into it that I think about breeding dragons and... blah. No, I'm not ashamed.)

*thoughtfully eyes the aspirine on the dresser*

still too tired to think clearly or at all, because i wanted to go to sleep hours ago, but, well.

here's why i usually don't take part in a lot of discussions - 2 possible interpretations:

1) i don't get them, which means i have to reduce them to clear and simple patterns first, then i can get to know them, internalize them, digest them, ... after which process i'm ready to participate in the discussions, but the discussion is not there anymore. meh. i wasn't fast enough. :(

2) i get them. most discussions can be reduced to very simple structures. in some cases i've already had several talks about the topics at hand and found that this particular discussion is just a copy of hundreds of other discussions about other topics but with the same underlying structure of thought. easy to solve. no reason to fight.
some examples for basic assumptions underlying 90% of all discussions:
- x is x. it can be described as x. it never changes. it is always the same. it has only one face.
- that x is x is TRUE.
- TRUE exists. it is opposed to FALSE. variation: good/evil. and all the other pretty pairs!
- because x is opposed to y, it can never be y. it can also never be z.
...

i know quite a few people, many of them on my flist, whose discussions go way beyond these assumptions, which is good, because otherwise i would feel seriously lost.
nevertheless at some point in the discussions someone will come and swing the hammer of binary categories (or some other magical weapon, although i think this one is the most effective).
i have no idea how to handle the hammer.
i don't feel like learning it.
i lack the patience to work my way through the arguments the hammer-fighter makes. (i'm taking about online communication here. in face to face communication i have a lot more patience.)

possible conclusions:

1) s l o w. t r y a g a i n l a t e r.

2) i am an arrogant brat who thinks her thought patterns are better than other people's thought patterns.

3) i am an arrogant brat who talks about thought patterns.

4) i am an arrogant brat who talks about things that are obvious, feeling very clever while doing so.

5) i am a stupid brat who talks about shit no one cares about.

6) other.

7) i love peter hammill. this is not a conclusion. i knew that before i even began the argument (?). fail.

8) this post feels like poetry / therapy. I like it.

Wieder im Lande, müde und völlig überfordert von alle den Dingen, die ich "verpaßt" hab.
Das soll gar nicht negativ klingen, im Gegenteil, ihr habt halt alle so viel interessante Dinge geschrieben, während ich nicht online war, und ich will zu allem etwas sagen, habe zu Vielem auch was zu sagen, aber... anstrengend. Ich werd' die tollen Kommentare noch beantworten in den nächsten Tagen.
Ansonsten bestätigt mir das, daß ich hier gerade zu tief drinstecke für meinen persönlichen Geschmack. Ok, Leute diskutieren mal wieder über Aca-Fen und andere Fen, hab ich am Rande mitbekommen... wofür ich mich ja nun interessiere, ja, aber. es ist arbeit, das durchzulesen, und danach weiß ich nicht zwangsläufig mehr als vorher, und meine küche ist noch immer nicht geputzt.
Und mir gefällts nicht so recht, daß ich dieses und letztes mal so sehr ernst werde, wenn ich anfange zu posten, obwohl ich mich vorher so ernst gar nicht gefühlt hab.
Müde Posts - manchmal nicht so gut?
Es gibt noch so viele andere Dinge, die man tun kann, ich werde versuchsweise ein paar davon machen und schauen, ob der Himmel mir dann auf den Kopf fällt, weil ich irgendwelche gegenwärtigen Hypes verpaßt habe. Is krassn Experiment.

Heute bin ich auf meiner neun Stunden Zugfahrt an meiner halben Friendslist vorbeigefahren, Heidelberg, Frankfurt, Gießen, Kassel, Halle, LE. Ich träum immer noch von einer mythischen Zeit in der Zukunft, wenn ich mit viel Zeit reise und euch alle besuchen kann - ganz so mythisch wirds ein Weilchen nicht werden, doch ich möchte gerne in den nächsten Monaten wenigstens ein paar Besuche einschieben.
Schöne Bahnhöfe habt ihr jedenfalls. (Ok, der in Halle geht so, aber dafür ist der Rest der Stadt schön. Und HD kenn ich ja eh schon lange genug.)

*kollabier* *schnarch*

[Crosspost vom LJ; ich habe keine Ahnung, ob sich deutsche Comms auf IJ überhuapt lohnen.]

... eine deutschsprachige Merlin-Comm? So riesig, wie das Fandom der Serie nach fünf Folgen schon ist, müßte sich das lohnen.

Falls nicht, jemand sollte eine gründen, und jemand sollte die Eröffnungsfic schreiben.
Dann traue ich mich vielleicht auch an Fic, denn eine Menge (plotlose) Ideen hab ich schon, mein Hirn mag sich aber nicht zwischen englisch und deutsch entscheiden, und auf englisch klappt es nicht.

Ahem...

Wenn ich euch mit den Dingern in Ruh lassen soll, sagt es, ok?

Nono, I'm not really here. You're imagining things.

To be honest, I felt weird without access to the internet as soon as I was in S. and away from other action. It's scary. I don't like it when I find myself showing symptoms of addiction.
Well, I borrowed my mother's computer temporarily and am trying to cut down my computer time instead of not being online at all.

Merlin fandom is not that good for me. Because it is such a young fandom I thought I could actually keep up with things, but there's so much fic, meta, communication going it that looking at one of the comms already overwhelms me. I'm a slow reader, and I have other things I want to do. Plus, I want my own access to the series, my own reading, and I'm letting other people's talk influence me far to much. It will spoil my fun if I'm not careful.

All of this probably is just a symptom, too - it shows that I'm taking fandom too seriously. ( introspection )

I went to the isLove Generator; it gave me a most interesting love bar.

existentialism is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

I could probably write another master's thesis in philosophy about this one. ;) But oh, it is so very fitting for me.

Now, the real reason for the seemingly narcisstic post of narcissm is an altrustic one: (haha) Dragon Egg wants to grow up.


PS: My cats! My cats came back from their holidays! Joy! *hugs the cats*

Now, you won't be seeing a lot of me for about a week. I'm going to my cousin's wedding tomorrow, then I'll be in S. for a short time, without my computer, which will be quite the experiment. But it doesn't make much sense to carry around a laptop without a functioning monitor.
Tell me if something important happens. Tell me if someone writes good Merlin fic. Email and comments should reach me.

Unrelated, #1: I dreamt that I was Wolverine, but I lived in my flat, and a girl who claimed to live in the the flat below mine wanted me to sign a form that said I wouldn't play loud music anymore. Wolverine was very confused. Then he got a distress call, and he ran to the playground where Nick Fury, Black Widow and some others were under attack. He jumped elegantly over the playground wall and saved Nick Fury's life. It was kind of romantic. Then we ran away from the playground and everything exploded around us. Adventure!

Unrelated, #2: Yesterday I was depressed due to hormones, so I wrote something to make me feel better. It was supposed to have three sentences. Uhm. I'm posting it because it made me happy and I think it might work for shiun, too, but it's not really anything. It also has ( Spoilers for Merlin ep. 1, and an smiling in overdose. )

Have a good week, will you? :)

Das hier hat Luisa vor ein paar Tagen geschrieben, und ich möchte es mal dokumentieren, weil man sowas gar nicht oft genug sagen kann und sie es so eigen ausdrückt, extra noch mal mit Unterstützung liebgewordener alter Worte (ich glaube, die sind mächtiger).

"...das ist doch der vorteil am alt werden. man lernt, dass die leute die einen quälen selbst gequält wurden. die, die sich aufmanndln eigentlich zutiefst unsicher sind, dass diese ganzen kasperl, die so wichtig tun, tatsächlich wichte sind."

Und das merk' ich mir jetzt mal. :)

I'm way to tired to write an even remotely reasonable entry, but my dragons grew up and I have two new eggs that need views. So I'll have to talk about something in order to conceal the true purpose of this post.

The best choice of things to talk about would of course be Merlin, not only because it is so very brilliant, but also because I need proof that I've been there at the early days of the fandom. If I don't contribute, how will I be able to say "I started watching Merlin shortly after the third episode aired for the first time", showing off in front of the hundreds of young newcomers who are going to search for fic in five years time? You know, like me. I always come late to fandoms, SJA and Merlin are notable exceptions.

Everyone already talked about this. And my brain doesn't work so well just now because it wants sleep. So, just one thing.

I'm pretty sure the series has a lot more than teh mega slash potential.
As you know, I like slash, but I'm not a real slasher, being equally interested in het, femslash, polyfic and sometimes even in non-shippy stuff if it's good.
When I decide whether I really like a TV or comics series, these days I seem to be all about the teams - the 'main cast' and the chemistry between them, plus the location where it all takes place. Both is brilliant here; all the characters rock. Camelot and the whole (fanfic!)legendary scenario draws me in.
This might also have to do with my other fandoms at the moment, most of which seem to include Excalibur, Great Britain or at least fairies. And yes, of course there are lots of crossovers in my head.

The only thing on TV that is as great as Merlin is The Sarah Jane Adventures. It is so wonderful, I have no words. (I'm so in love with Sarah Jane.) If you like one of these series, you should watch the other. They have the same strenghts and so far none of the weaknesses most other TV programmes show.
I am proud to say:

MY FANDOMS CAN APOLOGIZE WHEN THEY DID SOMETHING MEAN. MY FANDOMS CAN SAY THANK YOU WHEN THEIR FRIENDS SAVED THEIR LIVES. MY FANDOMS CAN MAKE THEIR FANS HAPPY.

---------
Now, dragons.

I adopted the green egg; the orange one is Fyr and Sajasi's child.

Ich möchte mich bei euch allen bedanken, die ihr auf meinen letzten Eintrag kommentiert habt. Ich habe mich riesig über jeden Kommentar gefreut. :)

Jetzt ist meine Arbeit abgegeben. Pünktlich einen Tag nach der Abgabe, gestern, verabschiedete sich mein Computer - der Bildschirm scheint futsch zu sein, hoffentlich reparabel futsch. Deshalb kann ich jetzt erstmal nicht davon ausgehen, daß ich alle Flist-Einträge lese, und vor allem sind alle Kontaktdaten (Mailadressen und Chat-IDs) auf dem Computer.
Gerade hab ich djaroms Laptop ausgeliehen.

Als gestern meiner nicht mehr ging, habe ich allerdings überlegt, ob ich nicht überhaupt mal ein bißchen weniger am Computer sitzen könnte. Von der Arbeit an meiner Mag bleibt mir eine riesige Ansammlung von Energie zurück, als ob ich die Muskeln in meinem Gehirn trainiert hätte, und sie nun die Übung aufrechterhalten wollen. Und auf einmal ist diese Energie frei, um für anderes verwendet zu werden. Ich finde, daß sie nicht nur auf Onlinetätigkeiten verwendet werden sollte, und das wird sie auch nicht. Meine Liste, was ich nun alles tun will, ist riesig und bunt. Und meine Wahrnehmung ist für alles offen, so daß ich erstmal merke, daß sie überhaupt geschlossener gewesen ist in der doch ziemlich langen Zeit, die ich mit der Arbeit beschäftigt war.

Was jedenfalls gut daran ist, daß ich einen Computer ausleihen konnte, ist, daß ich jetzt glücklicherweise die neue Merlin-Folge schauen kann, das wär ja tragisch gewesen, wenn das nicht gegangen wäre. :)

Meine Einträge scheinen noch konfuser zu sein als sonst, wenn ich sie auf einem fremden Computer schreibe.

Ich drück' euch alle, gebt auf euch acht.

Ok, ich muß das auf deutsch sagen.

Ich glaube ich habe unter Umständen gerade meine Magisterarbeit beendet.

Mokona und Mokona und lunafenice haben mir beim Beenden geholfen, weil ich ewig mit dem letzten Satz gekämpft habe. Morgen geht sie zum Copyshop, am Freitag zur Abgabe.
Woah.
Woah.
Wie geil. :D




(Offizieller Post dazu, wenn sie offiziell weg ist. Jetzt Squeedokumentationspost für die Zukunft. :))

Ok, ich fühle mich unglaublich dämlich, aber im Zuge des Prokrastinierens habe ich ein verlassenes Drachenei zwei verlassene Dracheneier adoptiert. (OMG)
Jetzt muß es müssen sie gestreichelt werden. Ich bitte um eure Hilfe.



Ansonsten spiele ich zwei neue sinnlose Browsergames, anstatt wenigstens die schlauen Einträge über neue Fandoms zu schreiben, die in meinem Kopf sind, wenn ich schon nicht die Arbeit korrigiere und fertigstelle. Und ich hab Hunger. Wenigstens fließt das Wasser in meiner Spüle jetzt ab.

Das Drachenkind kann für all das nichts! Seid liep zu ihm.

ETA: Ok, vier... ein Glück darf ich nicht mehr...

I managed to send the not completely finished thesis to its proofreaders, and now I need some distance so I can stop freaking out about the conclusion which I do not have so I can write it tomorrow. Thus, a meme. Chose the one that won't cost me too much time, saving the others for later. Seen at kelpie667's.

Name a character from one of my fandoms, and I'll give you either:

(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon,
(b) a reason he/she sucks,
(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes,
(d) five things that never happened to that character, or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

You pick the character. I pick the letter.

If you're not sure I know a certain character (if it's an X-Man, for example ;)), add a second one. Ask me about Marvel characters, will you? I feel the urge to express some of these thinky thoughts I've been having during the last few weeks.

Most important thing: LOOK AT MY ICON! I LOVE IT TO PIECES!

I'd love to share my state of mind right now, but I'm not sure that's possible. It feels... really creative, jungle-like, hot with lots of intense dreams about love and adventure.
Completely chaotic, tired, filled with information. Bearing text and being born from text.
Why was I ever afraid of this? Revolutionary ideas are born out of textual overdose, too much visual input (at least in my case).

The thesis, though: not so revolutionary, with more loose ends than anything else, and tying them up is the most difficult thing, because there is always more, of course, and the only technique I know to make a chapter come to an end is polemics, which is pretty much forbidden in academic work. I think. Couldn't manage without it nevertheless.

It is almost finished. (Finished? I don't know 'finished'.) And it's not. It's raw, bloody, too short, the chapter order makes no sense. It's not saying anything new, but it's collecting and trying out things. I like it, in a way - even if it screws up, it's still my child.

What it gave me, examples.: A NaNo idea. Knowledge, to serve as a basis for further study. The realization that I still want to be a scholar. Good times with good literature. Reminded me of my weird desire to connect all the dots on a map. Manga and comics fandom. A thousand beginnings for just as many possible projects. Knowledge, about the way I work.
I don't know if I can do it, yet.

Sleep now. Another exhilarating workday tomorrow. Before that: more dreams of eternal love.
All in all: yay.

They have all gone quite insane. It is fun to behold, so far.
But they should really try and get some costumes soon, all with the X-storylines and stuff.

( spoilers and a bit of a rant )

*returns to the real superheroes and mutants now*

Alright then, finally.

If you see this, post a quote from Stargate Atlantis in your journal

"I really thought there’d be more hot girls."

Okay, wenn ich guten Porn gelesen habe oder eine erotische Phantasie hatte, fühle ich mich: sexually charged, horny, hot, bockisch, lusterfüllt,.... (???) -

und wie sage ich das jetzt in academic speech? Auf deutsch? Aber trotzdem deutlich?
Hilfe, bitte?

ETA: Erledigt, dank tanrien. Aber mehr Synonyme sind immer gut! ;)

Schaut, schaut! Die erste Ausgabe von Transformative Works and Cultures ist erschienen!!

Ich hatte mich so drauf gefreut, und das ist alles ganz unglaublich spannend und ich hab keine Zeit, es zu lesen, also geht ihr lesen!
So hab ich einen weiteren Grund auf einer Liste vieler guter Gründe warum ich schneller schreiben und fertig werden sollte. *vorfreu* *weiterschreib*

( Secret Invasion 6 spoilers )